愚人节的英文笑话

愚人节的英文笑话

愚人节是西方的节日，你听过愚人节的英语笑话吗?

献祝福网

　　1.-What the day is it today? www.xzhufu.com

　　-Today is April fools'day. www.xzhufu.com

　　-Oh!you are wrong today is March the 31th.If you don't believe me please pick up the calendar. 献祝福网

　　-Oh!it is really April fools'day.

　　-Haha!you were cheated!

　　2.Best wishes and I believe your English will be better and better! copyright xzhufu

　　3.A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok,mommy." and goes to sleep. the next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn''t come true!". The mom answered, "I know - April Fools!" copyright xzhufu

　　4.Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day. copyright xzhufu

　　Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily xzhufu_com

　　5.A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?

　　The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!! www.xzhufu.com

　　6.At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home... He asks him: what are you doing? xzhufu_com

　　The son replied: Dad I am fed up with my life! My newly marriage is not going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! I have to pay bills for my in-laws, and I hate this life!!! I want to go far from here, I want to taste every joy of life, and I want to have every fun of life!!!

　　Father said: Wait!!!!!!!! I am coming with you

献祝福网

　　7.A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. xzhufu_com

　　The wife answered: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?

xzhufu_com

　　The husband laughed and said: An English girl!!! copyright xzhufu

　　The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked: So honey, how was the trip? copyright xzhufu

　　The wife: Very good, thank you.

　　The husband: And, what happened to my present? 献祝福网

　　The wife: Which present? copyright xzhufu

　　The husband: What I asked for: the English girl?

　　The wife: Oh, that! Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl!!!

献祝福，祝福网

　　8.A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn 't like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking. The wife asks, "What are you waiting for? " The husband replies, "autumn. " 献祝福网

　　9.A man is sitting reading his newspaper when the wife sneaks up behind him and whacks(打) him on the head with a frying pan. "What the hell was that for? " he asks. "That was for the piece of paper in your trouser pockets with the name Mary Ellen written on it, " she replies. Don 't be silly, " he says. "Two weeks ago when I went to the races(赛马), Mary Ellen was the name of one of the horses I bet on. " She seems satisfied at this, and she apologizes. Three days later he 's again sitting in his chair reading when she nails(打，俚语) him with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him out cold. When he comes around, he asks again, "What the hell was that for? " "Your fucking horse just phoned. " xzhufu.com

　　10.Wife to husband: you were so drunk last night that you insulted your boss. 献祝福网

　　Husband: piss on him! Wife: you did and he fired you!

　　Husband: fuck him! xzhufu.com

　　Wife: I did and you can go back to work tomorrow.

　　11.A couple drove several miles down a country road with intense silence. Not a word was said to each other. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither wanted to concede his position. As they passed a barnyard of mules(骡子) and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours? " "Yep, " the husband replied, "in-laws"